Thursday, April 4, 2013

I'm back with a recipe!

Bloggers, I don't know how you do it!  Between waking up at 4:30 AM to workout, my photography business, my kids, my family, and my husband, I rarely find the time to sit and write up a post!

It is so HARD for me to make sure I post a few times a week!  I hope to post at least once a week but even that doesn't happen sometimes!

I was hoping this blog would help me stay motivated and on track.  It has for the most part.  I don't get many comments but man I love seeing the number of page views go up! It makes me think of things to work on so I can talk about them and tell you how those things went!

I was also hoping I would start seeing results, but I haven't.  Not how I want to anyway.  The scale still varies between 206 and 208.  I got really close to 205 but then girl time came and I was back up to 208.  That's usually how it goes.  I get down to 206 then that monthly friend comes around and BAM I am back up to 208 and then I start over!

Today when I weighed myself, I found myself at 208.  I am going to TRY not weighing myself for 2 weeks instead of 1, and then gradually work up to 3 and 4 week periods.  I am trying to keep the mind frame of "It's not about the weight, it's about being healthy".  I know this is true, but it is SO hard to implement in life! 

 I do have to say a few things I am ECSTATIC about are - I have a line in my biceps!  It makes me so happy to see that line every time I am working them and makes me want to increase the intensity and get some FAB arms!  I also have a line in my calf's when they are flexed and it's beautiful!  

Those are the things I hold onto when the number doesn't change.  The fact that I am looking GREAT!  Today I also noticed and I am starting to see some ab lines!  60 minute ab workout in kickboxing is starting to pay off.  I just gotta remember to pull those abs in tight!

As for the recipe - this is my go to recipe when we want muffins.  I came across this muffin on Spark People and I LOVE it.  I hope it's as healthy as it seems.  When we I am craving a little extra sweetness, I mix up 1 tsp of cinnamon with 2 tsp of sugar and then melt 2 T of butter.  I dip the muffins in the butter and then the cinnamon sugar mixture and it tastes like doughnuts - almost!

Applesauce Oatmeal Muffins (from SparkRecipes)
1 cup rolled oats (not instant)
1 cup reduced-fat milk
1/2 cup unsweetened applesauce
2 egg whites
1 cup whole wheat flour ( I usually use white because I don't have wheat on hand)
1/2 cup brown sugar
1 tsp. baking powder
1/2 tsp. baking soda
1/2 tsp. salt
1 tsp. cinnamon

1 tsp. granulated sugar
Nuts or raisins (optional)

1. Soak the oats in milk for approximately 1 hour. (I usually skip this step if using quick oats, not whole oats)
2. Preheat the oven to 400 degrees. Spray a muffin pan with non-stick cooking spray.
3. Combine the oat mixture with applesauce and egg whites, and mix until combined.
4. In a separate bowl whisk together dry ingredients.
5. Add wet ingredients to dry ingredients and mix until just combined. Add nuts or raisins, if desired. **Do not over mix the batter or the muffins will be tough!**
6. Spoon batter into 12 prepared muffin cups. Combine cinnamon and sugar and top each muffin with some of the mixture.
7. Bake in preheated oven for 20-25 minutes or until done.

600 calorie burn in kickboxing today!

Friday, March 22, 2013

Sometimes it's ok!

It's been over a week since I posted.  I've just felt off for the last little bit, but today I woke up feeling GREAT with renewed strength to continue on this journey of mine!

I made a goal on March 15th that by June 15th I wanted to lose 25lbs.  3 months, totally doable!  I think that is what started me off not feeling great. For the last 1 1/2 years I have never had a goal in mind.  I've wanted to lose weight, but mostly I wanted to be more active.  I finally had gotten sick of not losing weight and was determined to hit 175.  My husband has NEVER known me at less that 185. 

This goal changed me though. It changed the way I looked at everything.  I became obsessed.  I started weighing myself every chance I got.  I started freaking out about what I was eating, and I started feeling like a failure.

It's funny to me, that before my goal even started, I began to give up and feel like a failure! Why did setting a goal make me feel like a failure?  Pretty sure it has something to do with a man named Satan and emotions of never giving or being enough.  He likes to get at me that way. He knows my weaknesses and he likes to pry them open with a crow bar and then pour salt into my wounds.

Wednesday and Thursday were such blah days, they were the salt in my wounds!  I didn't want to do anything.  I woke up with a migraine on Wednesday. I ate way too many crappy things.  I just didn't care.  I was burnt out.  Normally I feel bad about taking days off at the gym, but not this time, because sometimes it's ok to take a break.  It's ok to step back and take a look at what is going on in your life and what needs to really change.  It's ok to get the rest your body needs so when you do get up and decide to workout, you can kick trash at that workout and have the best workout yet.  It will leave you SORE and your muscles on fire, but it is totally worth it!  I love the active lifestyle I have now.  I love the desire I have for getting out and getting a good burn in for the day.  It makes me a happier person!

I want to keep my goal of 175lbs but if it doesn't happen, no harm done.  I can't continue obsessing over losing weight.  I need to remember that it's ok to get tired, it's ok to take a break, and sometimes it's ok to eat like crap, as long as I get back up and feel better and keep trying!

Today, when my alarm went off, I climbed back in bed, expecting to do the same thing, sleep in and have a blah day. I didn't really want to get up and go to the gym at 4:30 AM.  Lucky for me, I had only hit snooze on my alarm and it went off 5 minutes later.  I got up, said a prayer that today would be a good day, and I kicked butt at the gym.  I feel sore already.  I learned a new move that will knock the socks off of love handles I am pretty sure!  I started my day off right, here's to hoping I can start the weekend off right!

Monday, March 11, 2013

So - What Changed?

So - 

A few posts ago I said something changed. 
It wasn't really just one thing, it was a lot of things, but first things first - 

What I did today -
These things are DEATH! I am truly hoping one day they will get easier!  I thought kickboxing was death once too, but now I am in LOVE!
I truly hope it is the same with Spin! One day I will be able to complete the entire class!
This is me after Spin - I need to wear a different shirt where you can actually see all the sweat!  YUCK,  BUT awesome!

So, What really changed?

3 Months ago when I realized no matter how hard I had been working, I still wasn't losing weight, I began to want to give up.  I worked out 5-6 times a week burning anywhere between 400-700 calories.  I should have been losing weight, where was I going wrong?

I decided to focus on a few things.  I've picked up a few pieces of advice from friends, trainers, neighbors, and just plain healthy people, and I decided to piece all that information together and see what I get.

1. DRINK WATER - There are days (like yesterday) where I could go an entire day without drinking water.  My body doesn't like to tell me when it is thirsty. 
If you do not drink enough water everyday your body will store water and fat to compensate for the lack of water it is receiving.
Water naturally suppresses your appetite and also helps get rid of the salt in your system that makes you retain water!
2. Eat Protein - After every workout I now drink a protein shake.  It's just protein powder mixed with water. Nothing special!
Choose your protein powder carefully though. The one I am using right now I HATE. Really I am not sure there are any that truly taste good, but they help you stay full longer, feed your burned out muscle, and give you energy. In the next couple weeks I am going to be putting a post together about good protein powders!
3. COUNT YOUR CALORIES - I swore I would never count calories. I didn't want to be strapped to a number. I wanted to be able to eat whatever I wanted because I was working SO hard! There were days when I'd only eat breakfast and dinner or skip the first 2 meals of the day. NOT GOOD EATING HABITS!
I use the my fitness pal app.  I love it.  It's right on my phone.  I can add to it throughout the day so I know where I am at. If I notice I am eating too few of calories I can increase, if too much, I have a lighter dinner.  Knowing what I am putting in my body has been a huge change.
and finally
4. MEASURE YOURSELF, NOT YOUR WEIGHT -   Or and your weight.  I was so focused on the number on the scale not going down that I didn't notice the changes in my life.  I am usually no longer tired at 2 PM. I have much more energy to play with my kids.  I've lost 4 inches off my waist, 1 inch off my hips, 2 inches off my top, and 1 inch off my legs and arms.  The fat on my stomach is not as thick, and I am noticing a line in my abs a little, my biceps, and DEFINITELY my calves!  They are my favorite!
Most of all DON'T give up.  Find something you love and do it.  Wether it is walking with your kids, playing with them, or joining a gym, just do it.  Start small and work your way up.  I never dreamed I would be one to wake up at 4:30 AM every morning but here I am.  This morning I even woke up at 3:30 and couldn't sleep any more.  It's sometimes pathetic, but I love it.
I am pretty sure there is much more that has changed.  I know my attitude has changed from losing weight to being fit.  I can do things that a lot of skinny chicks cannot.  I am strong and I will win this battle of obesity, even if it takes me another year!  


Thursday, March 7, 2013

Emotional Eating

Yesterday (as you can tell from my previous post) was a super hard, emotional day for me. 

If something could go wrong, it probably did, if someone could be mad, they probably were, and if there were cookies or pizza in the house, it probably would be eaten (which it was)!

I really hate emotional days.  I haven't figured out how to cope with them.  I still turn to food to bury my feelings, hoping it will make me feel good.  It doesn't usually!

 - let's be honest - it NEVER DOES!

3000 Calories - that's how many I ate yesterday!

When I have bad days I usually throw tracking to the wind and say "whateve"!
Not yesterday though.  I decided I needed to hold myself accountable.
I ate 10 Samoa G.S. Cookies, 4 slices of pizza, and an orange soda.
*remember the don't drink your calories post from a few days ago - I TOTALLY didn't listen!

2 years ago, after I had Carsyn, I had to have my gall bladder removed.  It was kicked to death by a squirmy baby inside.  Eating crappy food has never been the same.  I get SO SICK to my stomach and I can feel it for days.  The thing that processes all the fat in my body is gone. 
You would think that would be enough to deter me, but apparently it's not.

I know yesterday will not be the last emotional, super hard, very frustrating day so I need some help. 
The other day my blog got over 500 views.  All of you people - please - INSPIRE me! 
What are some of the things you have set in place to make sure you don't give in to emotional eating?  How have you overcome emotional eating? 
Does your brain (or Satan) ever tell you - 
"you suck, you will never be skinny"
"just eat the dang cookies, it's only one day"
"just eat the whole box, then they'll be out of your house"

My brain was on fire yesterday with all sorts of these sayings going on in my head.  I tried to get out and go for a walk and it worked for a while but then I let him get back into my head.

Today I started over.  I still lost 1.5 lbs this last week which made me happy.  
I was 209.8 and I am now 208.3!
I kicked the trash (or should I say punched) out of a boxing bag.
I burned 775 calories!
And it was AWESOME!

OH! And I wore a tank top to the gym!  It was a BIG thing for me! I didn't look too bad either 
(except when doing burpees or mtn climbers - tank may have to be for spin class only until my chest decides to DISAPPEAR!)

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Bad Days -

Have you ever had such a BAD night that you just crawl into bed and go to sleep, only to wake up in the morning with that bad night turning your day into a bad day?

I am having that very moment today. 
I will take my success in small baby steps today!

I feel like going downstairs and getting the box of Oreos and just eating them all.
I am an emotional eater for sure!

The small success I've had this morning is eating a healthy breakfast,
instead of going downstairs and getting those 

Don't worry, my bad day has nothing to do with my weight loss journey, 
just LIFE.

Sometimes life sucks and you just want to crawl in a hole until the sun is shining on your life again.
I am waiting for that today, and what more perfect day to wait for that then the warmest day of the year so far!  Here's to a SUPER sunny day and a much happier one for me!

No workout picture yet - I stayed in my hole this morning!  I hope to get a workout in at home today.  


Tuesday, March 5, 2013

How much . . .

"How much weight have you lost?"

That is a question I get asked almost daily, or quite often.  

It is very frustrating to say "I really haven't lost anything".  They always come back with "well, you look great, it must be turning into muscle".  

I know it is!  I can finally see it.  I see a line in my biceps.  I see a line in my stomach.  The fat on my lower abs isn't as THICK (growse, I know). 

But to answer the real question - "how much weight have you lost?"

I really DON'T KNOW!

I started this journey for REAL after having my last son (Carsyn).  He is going to be 2 in May so I guess this is a 2 year journey thus far.  I wish I could be one of those that have lost it all in 1 year and then kept it off, but life gets in the way.

My highest weight while pregnant with Carsyn was 238. I am not entirely sure that is the final number.  I believe that was at 35 weeks or so.  I stopped looking eventually.  After having Carsyn I had to have my gall bladder removed.  After I was all healed from that I really started paying attention and keeping track I remember weighing in at 228. 

I started a boot camp class in Logan at 221 and lost 12 lbs in SIX WEEKS.  It felt GREAT!  I loved the class and honestly if it weren't for that class, I would have never thought I could do what I do now at the gym.  

Shortly after the session started my husband got a job in Provo (2 hours away).  He had to leave during the week and was only home for a day and a half before going back.  It was the hardest 3 months of my life.  We put our house up on the market and were stressed beyond belief.  I was able to maintain the 12 lbs I had lost with another round of bootcamp, but that was it.  I should be more proud of the fact that I maintained through all the stress but I was pretty bummed.

After we moved I got back up to 221.  I was frustrated with myself!  I found some running partners and they got me going.  This was in March and by August I was down to 208, which is where I am now.  

I truly haven't lost weight since August. Oh how frustrating it can be.  I've wanted to give up several times but there are so many wonderful people that have pulled me through the rough times, encouraged me to keep going, etc.  
I have fallen in LOVE with kickboxing and pump classes.  When I miss them I beat myself up all day wishing I had gone. There has been a change in me since August and it's a change that really needed to come.

 My new shirt!  Not quite ready to break out the tanks.  Almost a tank top, but not quite!  And a bright color to keep everyone awake!

 Mid-workout!  Today kicked my trash.  According to my handy dandy heart rate monitor, I burned 850 calories with kickboxing and 15 minutes on incline of 7 on the dreadmill!

 These bags are my BEST friend on Tuesday and Thrusdays!

Stay tuned for what that change is!

Monday, March 4, 2013


I NEVER drink soda.  

When I say never, I really mean never.  I may have 1 soda ever 3 or 4 months, if that!  When we go out to restaurants, we always get water.  Not because it's water I want, but water is FREE and with the FRUGAL husband I have, water it is!

This weekend we went to Logan (2 hour drive) to celebrate my sisters 30th birthday!  We threw her this little surprise party and went bowling.  There  was pizza, chips, and a whole lot of soda but no water in sight!

I was SO proud of myself.  I only had 2 slices of pizza.  I normally would have eaten about 4, sometimes 5 slices.  While eating the pizza I thought I was being good by only drinking half of a cup of root beer.

We then went bowling they had code red.  Code Red is my ALL TIME favorite soda.  It's got such a yummy taste and gives me a boost of caffeine, I LOVE IT! It is my weakness for sure.  I got a 20 oz to share with my sister, but I'm pretty sure I drank most of it.

We then went to my mom's house.  She had made some yummy sloppy joes (I only ate 1), there was some yummy potato salad, the BEST potato salad made by my grandma, I only had 1/2 cup of that. But then there was root beer.  My 2nd greatest weakness in soda other than code red.

At the end of the night I entered all my information into myfitnesspal (friend me if you're on there) and I went over my calorie goal by 450 calories. Wanna know how many calories was in all the soda I drank?



I could have endulged in another sloppy joe instead of feeling hungry, had another slice of pizza, had some more of my grandma's salad.  I could have had some chocolate chip cookie or who knows what, but I DRANK MY CALORIES!

I was more upset over the fact that I drank my calories than the fact that I went over for 1 day!  DON'T DRINK YOUR CALORIES, it's not worth it and will leave you unsatisfied and craving more for days!

Thursday, February 28, 2013

Heart Rate Monitor

I am trying to lose weight the right way. 

I would say trying my hardest, but I've had a bad weekend through Monday and it DEFINITELY was not trying my hardest!

I've been tracking my food, watching what I eat, changing routines, and working out nearly EVERY DAY for at least 60 minutes with little to no results. There must be some results I don't see because everyone tells me how great I look, and I feel great too!  Some days I feel as if they are saying I look great though because they know how hard I am trying and want to give encouragement, not because it's really true (but that's a post for another day!)

So, with nothing changing and no measurable results being found I decided to invest in a heart rate monitor.  I know that 98% of losing weight is the food you put into your body, but I was worried I wasn't getting my heart rate up for a long enough time period. I bought the Polar FT4.
I've only had it for one day and today was my first time using it.  So far I like it!

I used it in my kickboxing class this morning.  This class OBLITERATED me today! I LOVE it!

Anyway, back to the heart  rate monitor - Today my heart rate monitor said my average HR was 168, my maximum was 184, and the time in target heart rate zone was only 10 minutes. My target HR zone is 125-165.  So, I am putting this out there - what does this mean?  Is it bad that my HR is always above my zone?  Does it mean I am working harder but burning less calories?  I am so confused!  

On a good note, my resting heart rate this morning was 56 which is PRETTY awesome!

Here's to learning more about being healthy and doing it the right way!

Weight loss and vacationing (posted 1.24.13)

I just returned from a 3 week vacation to Hawaii -

One of my biggest fears of going on a 3 week vacation was gaining weight.  I knew we would be eating out nearly EVERY meal.  Not to mention the delicious Polynesian food they have there.  I was scared.  I didn't have access to any weights, a gym, and not a lot of time to exercise.

We had been there for 4 days when I found a scale to step up on.  It said 215.  I had gained 6 POUNDS in FOUR days.  It killed me!  I didn't think I had done that bad, but apparently I was WRONG!

I remember walking up to Cris and saying "I hope that scale is wrong because it says I am up 5 pounds" and he looked at me and said "it's actually right, it says the same weight for me as at home"

My hopes of a miscalculated scale were OVER!  I needed to change what I was eating, how active I was, and what I was doing and I needed to change it FAST!

I started to eat only half the rice and meat that was served, drink LOTS of water with each meal, and not snack as much on the beach.  I decided I would swim for 30 minutes while snorkeling each day.  It wasn't much, but it worked.  Especially when there was rough water, HOLY ARM WORKOUT!

At the end of the remaining 2 weeks I was back down to 211 and somehow by the time Thursday morning came and I went to the gym, I had gotten back down to 209, the exact weight I was when I left.  


Now, I don't know so much about this birthday weekend for my Rysa girl and the 120 cake bites we have in our home because a snow storm prevented family from coming and having dinner with us!

Getting to the Nitty Gritty (posted 1.8.13)

I don't know how many people read this blog.  I know some still do because I get comments every now and then.  I am going to start using this as a way to not only document my family life but also get into my personal life as well.

I am on a journey to a healthier me in 2013 and it's going to be a LONG road ahead.  I am going to need all the motivation I can get so if I post about weightloss, please, leave a comment.  Keep me on this path!

Tonight I watched Biggest Loser.  It made me realize that while I've got the physical thing of losing weight down.  I can workout for 1.5 hours.  Work my butt off, and not give up, etc.  I do not have the emotional part down.

How do you get that?  How do you get through all the baggage that obesity brings?  I have been overweight my whole life.  There is so much negativity drawn from that.  That negativity spirals into so many other areas of life that it no longer is just about the weight.  So, how do you get to the bottom of it without a therapist?  How do you let go  of all those crazy thoughts you've led yourself to believe? How do you rid yourself of the negativity become the girl our Heavenly Father wants you to be?

Today for my fast I fasted for an open heart.  Mainly and open heart to start feeling Heavenly Father's unconditional love.  I know he loves me but I let Satan in and persuade me differently.  I will figure this out.  Keep on following me on this journey as I do, and if you have any suggestions - COMMENT PLEASE!