Last night as I was doing day 3 of T25, there was a lot of jumping involved. Normally I wear tight pants, like biker shorts, but capri's. Last night I decided to wear basketball shorts and boy was that a BAD decision! I could LITERALLY hear my lower abdominal fat slap against my legs and lower abs. It made me want to vomit. What have I done to myself? Why did I let it get this far? Why is losing weight so hard for me? Why is it so hard to stay on track, eat healthy, and do it all?
I know that we are sent to Earth to learn and grow. Sometimes I wish I were born with the genes to be skinny without thinking about it. To be what the world thinks is beautiful. I wish that Satan didn't have so much hold on the hearts of men (and women) to make us feel ugly, fat, stupid, etc. It makes me so irritated when I look at myself in the mirror and think "ewww, yuck, disgusting, ugly, fat, etc." because then IMMEDIATELY after I think - that's not true. I hate that he can get to me like that!!!
I want more than anything to overcome this obstacle of weight! I want to be FREE of the hold it has on me. I also want to always love the body I have! I am grateful for the body I have. That I am able to have children. Four beautiful children in fact! I am so grateful for that! I hope that I can teach my daughters to love themselves, no matter what, but I can only do that, if I show the same respect to myself!
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