Have you ever?

Have you ever worked SO hard at something for an entire year and accomplish nothing at yet everything at the same time?

My year in review, that's how I feel.  I have worked SO HARD at losing weight this entire year.  I started running in March after we moved.  I got a great group of girls to run with.  We ran all summer, 3 and 4 times a week for at least 3 miles.  I worked my way to a 10 minute mile, and some times a 9.5 minute mile.

I then felt like I was holding them back.  Most days I could only do a 12 minute mile and these girls could run 8-10 minute miles easy.  My 12 minutes was really pushing it for me.  I decided to run on my own and that didn't last long.  It started getting cold and I started finding excuses but I made it to September, I was proud.

I started at a gym in September and started doing kickboxing, running, and a weight lifting class.  I was working out even more. 1-2 hours every day, Monday through Saturday.  I have fallen in love with some of the instructors (well mainly one, she knows who she is if she's reading) and others are just fine. All throughout this I have lost NOTHING. Not even one ounce.  Today I weighed in at 210 lbs.  I have gone from 212 to 204 then back up and around and down and all over but never above 212 and never below 204.

So, throughout this year I feel like I have failed and yet succeeded in so many ways.  I feel like I failed because I didn't even get below 200.  I really wanted that. But other than that, I've succeeded.

I never gave up.  I love exercising.  I thrive for it most days.  It gets me going in the morning and puts me to sleep each night. I have become happier being me and being as healthy as I can vs worrying so much about the weight. I have brought my mile down from 17 minutes to a 10 minute mile and then down to a 9.5 min mile (as long as I only run one mile).  I am stronger.  I am better.  I am me!  Here's to a new year with continued success.  I hope this year will bring weight-loss but if not, I will know I can continue to succeed!